How To Know When To Leave a Relationship

  1. If I stay, what would be my reasons for staying?
  2. If I go, what would be my reasons for going?
  3. What is my role in our relationship, and how am I contributing to the current relationship dynamic? Have I taken radical responsibility for it?
  4. If there was harm done by myself or by another, has repair been made? Have I accepted that repair (from myself or the other?) Do I feel that the repair attempt was genuine and there have been noticeable changes since?
  5. What would I need to feel good in this relationship? Do I think the other person is capable of giving that to me? What evidence do I have that they are or aren’t?
  6. What do I need to do to have peace that I’ve done all that I can and taken personal responsibility for what I’m bringing into our relationship?
  7. What Stories/meaning do I have about leaving? What Stories/meaning do I have about staying? How are those Stories influencing my current actions and thoughts?
  8. Is there active participation from both parties in working on themselves and the relationship in a way that feels good to you?
  9. What would be most consistent with my values right now?
  10. How do I know when I know something? *hat tip to Madison Morrigan for this question
  11. What signals are my body sending me that I perhaps haven’t picked up on or have been trying to ignore? If my body could speak, what would it be saying?
  12. What do you really, really want?

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Kim Kimball

Kim Kimball

Life coach helping ambitious women have thriving relationships with partners, friends, family, + coworkers by healing codependency. www.kimkimballcoaching.com