How To Know When To Leave a Relationship

  1. If I stay, what would be my reasons for staying?
  2. If I go, what would be my reasons for going?
  3. What is my role in our relationship, and how am I contributing to the current relationship dynamic? Have I taken radical responsibility for it?
  4. If there was harm done by myself or by another, has repair been made? Have I accepted that repair (from myself or the other?) Do I feel that the repair attempt was genuine and there have been noticeable changes since?
  5. What would I need to feel good in this relationship? Do I think the other person is capable of giving that to me? What evidence do I have that they are or aren’t?
  6. What do I need to do to have peace that I’ve done all that I can and taken personal responsibility for what I’m bringing into our relationship?
  7. What Stories/meaning do I have about leaving? What Stories/meaning do I have about staying? How are those Stories influencing my current actions and thoughts?
  8. Is there active participation from both parties in working on themselves and the relationship in a way that feels good to you?
  9. What would be most consistent with my values right now?
  10. How do I know when I know something? *hat tip to Madison Morrigan for this question
  11. What signals are my body sending me that I perhaps haven’t picked up on or have been trying to ignore? If my body could speak, what would it be saying?
  12. What do you really, really want?



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Kim Kimball

Kim Kimball

Life coach helping ambitious women have thriving relationships with partners, friends, family, + coworkers by healing codependency.